Steve the Raven's Guide to Having a Successful First Date

Current mood: magenta

Now that you’ve successfully gotten your special lady’s attention (please refer to my 7/18/10 post), it’s time to show her an excellent time. As promised,

Steve the Raven’s Guide to Having a Successful First Date
I'm confident that if you follow these guidelines you'll have a terrific first date experience.

• Bring your ant farm to dinner. She’ll love that you’re an outdoorsman.
• Show an interest in your date. Create a photo album of your favourite hair styles and suggest which one she should try the next time you see her.
• Be mysterious. Blindfold her when she gets in your car.
• Share your proudest moments (i.e., 'I haven’t gambled in a week'; 'I had a brief television appearance on COPS in the 90s'; 'I helped a Nigerian diplomat's daughter access her inheritance'; 'When I was 38, I stuffed 18 miniature marshmallows up each nostril and then shot them cannon-like into a small clam bucket'; etc.).
• Bring her a gift. If you’re crafty, you can decoupage pictures of yourself onto a shoebox or carve a face into an apple. If you’re not crafty, give her an engagement ring or some marbles.
• Reveal your nostalgic side by showing her your collection of toenail clippings and dead skin (Martha Stewart-inspired idea: Present them in your decoupage shoebox!).
• Discuss current events. Let her know about road construction projects you’re aware of.
• Show your economical side by bringing a sandwich to the restaurant.
• Show your generous side . . . share your sandwich with her.
• Let her know that you learn from your mistakes. Create a bar graph or colourful pie chart that demonstrates why your previous relationships failed.
• Be classy. Wear a shiny cape.
• Make her feel important. Ask her to co-sign on a personal loan for a speedboat (Bonus Tip: This will also let you know if she has good credit for future purchases you'd like to make).
• Be courteous. If your date looks tired offer to carry her from the car into the movie theatre and/or restaurant (especially if she's blindfolded).
• And to make the evening complete, offer your date $100 cash for spending time with you

 Let me know how it goes stevetheraven@tds.net