Question #26: Understanding the Human Race

Boss' question: I've long regarded humans as inept. Do you have any theories as to why humans behave the way they do?

Current mood: pretty

Growing pains, Boss my friend. Humans are growing up. The way I see it, the human race is currently the developmental equivalent of adolescents. For tens of thousands of years humans have been slowly evolving their identity as a race.

At the risk of oversimplifying this process . . . here's my take on the stages of the human race's development:

INFANCY (hunter-gatherer period) = strong connection to mom (earth) and dad (sun)

CHILDHOOD = I call this the "oh shit" era. Armed with limited perception and faced with the horrors of the world such as death, illness and catastrophic events, a youthful human race attempted to combat its fears by inventing an all powerful being who lives in a celestial kingdom and punishes those who are bad and rewards those who are good. Religion gave humans the illusion of control in a world that could be cruel.

PRE-ADOLESCENCE = The school of hard knocks led to the development of reasoning skills. Science is born ("Congratulations, it's a paramecium!"). During this period, Western culture began to hungrily investigate the material world in an attempt to figure out "how shit works." Westerners dumped god for a petri dish. God got pissed and went back to dating children (see previous developmental stage)

ADOLESCENCE = What I like to refer to as the "who gives a shit" period.
Common traits during this developmental stage include:

• Logic and reason reign supreme while magical thinking is rejected (Darwinism + Neo-Darwinism)
• Disrespectful attitude towards parents, especially mom (Deforestation, toxic waste, poison water, etc.)
• Sense of entitlement (Visa/MasterCard)
• Manipulative behaviour (Monsanto)
• Rigid thinking (oil dependence)
• Feelings of invincibility (US Congress)
• Obsession with appearance (Miami)
• Importance of acceptance (Facebook)
• Poor concept of cause and effect (plastic surgery)
• Self gratification (Wall Street)
• Lack of humility (Mel Gibson)
• Demands for freedom without responsibility (rednecks)
• Self importance (Fox News)
• Identifying with social groups/cliques (conservatives vs. liberals)

Meanwhile, mom and dad are just shaking their heads praying for the day that you turn 18 and move out.

What are your thoughts on what the next phase of the human race's development will be? Send me an email  stevetheraven@tds.net or share your comments below