Darlene's question: Dear Steve, I've been depressed for most of my life. How do you overcome depression?
I have two words for you, Darlene, my friend: tiny rats.
1. After purchasing a handful of tiny rats, don't feed them for a week. Let them get good and hungry.
2. When you're ready, take off your shoes and socks and set the rats free.
3. You'll notice that the rats start hungrily eating the flesh on your feet. You'll also begin to notice that your focus shifts to the increasing pain in your feet. This is where the tiny rats really work their magic!
Since chronic depression is a problem that stems from the habit of negative thinking, with a particular emphasis on the past (i.e., asking yourself questions like "why did this happen to me?" or "what if I'd done xyz instead?") and deeply ingrained self-defeating belief systems (i.e., "nothing ever goes my way," "I'm not good enough," etc.), the tiny rats bring your focus to the moment at hand. That's where you want your focus to be! (cue: Oprah's audience) At the risk of getting all Eckhart Tolle on you, NOW is the only thing that exists. (Oprah points and excitedly yells to individuals in her audience, "You get a tiny rat! You get a tiny rat! Everybody gets tiny rats!")
4. After several days, your depression treatment will be complete.
How do you spell relief? That's right, tiny rats !
***Please note: This treatment is not recommended for people with anxiety
Email your questions to SteveTheRaven@tds.net
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