Current mood: inane
It seemed fitting to start my soon-to-be-named religion with some well-thought out directives. This is what I've come up with so far:
1. I am Lord of the Dance - Do not worship me, but feel free to admire my dance moves
2. Worshipping gods who have written books is frowned upon and makes you come across as dim
3. On the Seventh Day you shall eat Free Chicken Wings
4. Thou shalt not be a dick.
5. Understand this: Most people are full of shit (even you)
6. Use of the words "irregardless" and "utilize" is strictly forbidden. (Irregardless is actually not a word and utilize is a pretentious way of saying 'use')
7. Have some balls - heal yourself
8. Rather than kill, thou shalt express disappointment in, or under certain circumstances bitch slap, those you find offensive or threatening
9. Don't take stuff that's not yours (please see #4)
10. Don't give your power to anyone else. And whatever you do . . . .
11. Thou shalt not obey anyone's commandments (However, feel free to borrow from the above list of suggestions if you find the ideas appealing)
I, the Lord of The Dance, give you my 11 Suggestions for Living an Honorable Life
Sunday, October 10, 2010
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Dear Steve-
ReplyDeleteI dig the 11 commandments. I'm in!
Just one question:
Where can I get the free chicken wings?
Donna
yeah, we're all about the free food, is there a veggie option?
ReplyDeleteTo get your free chicken wings all you have to do is go to your favourite chicken wing restaurant - on the Seventh Day of course - and let the person taking your order know that you're there for the Lord of the Dance free chicken wing special as stated in the Third Commandment. Enjoy your wings !
ReplyDeleteSorry Chris, the Third Commandment is carnivore specific. I suggest ordering chicken wings, buffalo style, and eating only the celery and carrot sticks and then you can give all your wings to Donna.