Current mood: hungry
After hearing about a spiritual practice known as Breatharianism about a month ago, I've been on a quest to find out more. Breatharians believe they can attain physical immortality by shunning food and drink and feasting instead on a diet of the sun's energy. In this month's Steve the Raven Interviews Dead People, I speak with Breatharian Shoshana-Nirvana Melontwig.
Steve the Raven: So Miss Melontwig, am I to understand that you're a practicing Breatharian?
Shoshana-Nirvana Melontwig: Why yes, I am. I live off the beautiful and loving life force of Grandfather Sun. We're all the sun's children.
STR: So you eat the sun?
S-NM: No, silly! I I'm a sun gazer. I stare directly at the sun and let him fill me with his loving bounty.
STR: Do solar flares cause indigestion?
S-NM: The sun doesn't have any hair, you silly bird!
STR: Right.
STR: How long have you been a practicing Breatharian?
S-NM: I've been weaning myself off food and water for the last several months, but the last time I ate food was about a month ago.
STR: How's that going for you?
S-NM: Beautifully! I feel so much lighter and peaceful and full of energy. But it wasn't easy. The first several weeks were very, very hard. I felt so faint and weak. Everything was just spinning and spinning. I got to the point where I couldn't do anything or even leave my bed. And then in one glorious moment it happened . . . I ascended into Christ consciousness.
STR: I think you're referring to the moment when you died?
S-NM: No, I'm not dead. I'm an immortal flower floating in a sea of crystalline consciousness.
STR: That’s very poetic, but you're still dead.
S-NM: In breatharianism there's no need for physical death.
STR: If you were alive, would I be able to do this? (Steve flies right through Shoshana-Nirvana’s spirit body)
S-NM: Ooh, that felt whooshy! My life . . . my existence . . . it's so unusual now. Enlightenment takes getting used to.
STR: So does being dead.
S-NM: If I didn’t know better I’d say there’s a certain someone who’s a little jealous of my enlightenment! (Shoshanna smiles and winks at Steve)
STR: If you were really enlightened, you’d know you were dead.
S-NM: I smell envy!
STR: You got me there. I strive to be as oblivious and one-dimensional as you are. One final question, Miss Melontwig. What advice do you have for my readers . . . the people who, unlike you, are not dead?
S-NM: My advice is to create a safe space to lovingly hold your flowing essence so that you can meld your entire beingness with the star people – our beloved brothers and sisters of light who are watching over us - the Pleiadians, the Syrians, and the Unitarians. Remember to surround yourself with transport crystals and juniper berries and the loving light of all that is so that you too can attain enlightenment and together we can ascend to the seventh dimension of existence where everyone is blanketed in pink light and cherry lip gloss. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?!!
STR: I have no idea what you just said.
S-NM: Maybe some day when you reach enlightenment you’ll understand!
STR: Christ, I hope not. Thank you Shoshanna-Nirvana for taking the time to speak with me and for educating all of us on the fucked up practice known as Breatharianism.
Did this interview whet your appetite? Would YOU like to learn how to become a Breatharian? For only $10,000 you can learn the secrets of physical immortality including how to completely eliminate annoying grocery bills from the revered master himself, the creator of the Breatharian Institute of America, Wiley Brooks. Wiley claims to be the reincarnation of Adam, Zeus, Jesus, John the Baptist, Joseph Smith and others. Wiley's soul history is a veritable who's who of fictional characters (including his bonus past life as Joseph Smith, the creator of the fictional religion Mormonism)!
Sign up for Wiley's 'Immortality Workshop' at http://breatharian.com/ before it's too late!
After hearing about a spiritual practice known as Breatharianism about a month ago, I've been on a quest to find out more. Breatharians believe they can attain physical immortality by shunning food and drink and feasting instead on a diet of the sun's energy. In this month's Steve the Raven Interviews Dead People, I speak with Breatharian Shoshana-Nirvana Melontwig.
Steve the Raven: So Miss Melontwig, am I to understand that you're a practicing Breatharian?
Shoshana-Nirvana Melontwig: Why yes, I am. I live off the beautiful and loving life force of Grandfather Sun. We're all the sun's children.
STR: So you eat the sun?
S-NM: No, silly! I I'm a sun gazer. I stare directly at the sun and let him fill me with his loving bounty.
STR: Do solar flares cause indigestion?
S-NM: The sun doesn't have any hair, you silly bird!
STR: Right.
STR: How long have you been a practicing Breatharian?
S-NM: I've been weaning myself off food and water for the last several months, but the last time I ate food was about a month ago.
STR: How's that going for you?
S-NM: Beautifully! I feel so much lighter and peaceful and full of energy. But it wasn't easy. The first several weeks were very, very hard. I felt so faint and weak. Everything was just spinning and spinning. I got to the point where I couldn't do anything or even leave my bed. And then in one glorious moment it happened . . . I ascended into Christ consciousness.
STR: I think you're referring to the moment when you died?
S-NM: No, I'm not dead. I'm an immortal flower floating in a sea of crystalline consciousness.
STR: That’s very poetic, but you're still dead.
S-NM: In breatharianism there's no need for physical death.
STR: If you were alive, would I be able to do this? (Steve flies right through Shoshana-Nirvana’s spirit body)
S-NM: Ooh, that felt whooshy! My life . . . my existence . . . it's so unusual now. Enlightenment takes getting used to.
STR: So does being dead.
S-NM: If I didn’t know better I’d say there’s a certain someone who’s a little jealous of my enlightenment! (Shoshanna smiles and winks at Steve)
STR: If you were really enlightened, you’d know you were dead.
S-NM: I smell envy!
STR: You got me there. I strive to be as oblivious and one-dimensional as you are. One final question, Miss Melontwig. What advice do you have for my readers . . . the people who, unlike you, are not dead?
S-NM: My advice is to create a safe space to lovingly hold your flowing essence so that you can meld your entire beingness with the star people – our beloved brothers and sisters of light who are watching over us - the Pleiadians, the Syrians, and the Unitarians. Remember to surround yourself with transport crystals and juniper berries and the loving light of all that is so that you too can attain enlightenment and together we can ascend to the seventh dimension of existence where everyone is blanketed in pink light and cherry lip gloss. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?!!
STR: I have no idea what you just said.
S-NM: Maybe some day when you reach enlightenment you’ll understand!
STR: Christ, I hope not. Thank you Shoshanna-Nirvana for taking the time to speak with me and for educating all of us on the fucked up practice known as Breatharianism.
Did this interview whet your appetite? Would YOU like to learn how to become a Breatharian? For only $10,000 you can learn the secrets of physical immortality including how to completely eliminate annoying grocery bills from the revered master himself, the creator of the Breatharian Institute of America, Wiley Brooks. Wiley claims to be the reincarnation of Adam, Zeus, Jesus, John the Baptist, Joseph Smith and others. Wiley's soul history is a veritable who's who of fictional characters (including his bonus past life as Joseph Smith, the creator of the fictional religion Mormonism)!
Sign up for Wiley's 'Immortality Workshop' at http://breatharian.com/ before it's too late!
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