Question #16: How to stop being 'unpleasant'

Woodguy's question: How do I not be a shithead?

Current mood: extravagant

That's a hell of a question Woodguy. The good news is . . . admitting you're a shithead is the first step.

The next step requires measuring tape.

Step 2: Measure the circumference of your skull.

•  If your skull is large and bulbous (24" or greater) you'll need a shoe horn and the help of a friend or close family member.
•  For a narrow, more oblong skull (8" to 23.5"), you'll need some twine and a door with a round metal doorknob.

Step 3: Using the above-referenced tools, gently pull your head out of your ass.

Step 4: Take a shower using soap and water.

My hope, Woodguy, is that shitheads everywhere will benefit from the braveness of your humility.

Let me know how it goes !

Send your question to stevetheraven@tds.net