Question #37: What happened to Steve?

DiDi's question: Hey Steve - where you been? I've missed your disturbing point of view.

Current mood: MIA

I appreciate your concern, DiDi. One of the following things has prevented me from writing my weekly blog:

A. I was abducted by aliens and am now touring the world with new age conspiracy theorist David Icke

B. After a brief flirtation with opiates, a rather tall and intrusive building jumped in front of me while I was flying home from Atlantic City. After impact I fell into the thankfully over-teased nacho cheese-colored bouffant of a Puerto Rican she-male named Marisa (pronounced Mah-reeza) who happened to be "working" at the time. Lucky me. I suffered a broken wing and a slight brain injury. After detangling myself from Marisa's hair I checked myself into rehab with Dr. Drew and will be appearing with Gary Busey on the next season of VH1's hit reality show Celebrity Rehab.

or

C. I found Jesus.

The answer will be revealed in my next blog entry . . . which may or may not be posted next week.